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Instead, opt for options such as the next three most popular greetings, which perform better with response ratings. These include “how’s it going,” “what’s up,” and even “yo.” All were shown to get more replies than the more standard “hellos.” When you start with a question, like “how’s it going,” you give the recipient a chance to send a reply with a little more substance. They may tell you about their day, their work, their weekend plans, etc. Then you can respond to those details and, boom, you’ve started a conversation. Overall, it’s better to use no traditional salutation at all than one of the top 3 introductions listed initially. No traditional greeting at least earns the reply rate of 27%. Overall, more informal standard greetings did very well. So rather than a simple “hey,” or “hi,” go for a “howdy,” which received almost a 45% response rating! It may seem a little silly, but at least you won’t be one of the twenty “hey” messages in their inbox. You’ll show that you have at least a little bit of creativity. 2. Start Your First Message with A Question (One That Won’t Get You Stuck) Out of all the online dating message tips, this one is simple. Lead with a question to get your online dating conversation started. If you’re still not able to start conversations with the greetings mentioned above, maybe try something a little bit more personalized and to the point. Browse through the profile of the person that you want to contact and see if there is anything that jumps out at you. Then, make that your conversation opener. First, find common ground with your girl or guy. For example, maybe you both like hiking. Then, begin a conversation about it by asking a question. With our example, you could ask them “Where do you like to hike around here?” or “What’s the best hiking trail you’ve ever been on?” Immediately, you’ll show the recipient that you’re interested in their opinion and that you share a common interest with them. This automatically establishes some foundation of compatibility in their mind. People normally like talking about themselves, so opening with a question about him or her to get the ball rolling is a good way to improve your response rate. If you jump in by talking about yourself or your own likes, you may unintentionally come across as self-absorbed. Rather than ask about them, you’d rather talk to them about yourself. About 14% of men start the conversation by talking about themselves. The three most common topics are their personality, career, and interests. These are definitely important topics to cover, but maybe start the conversation by asking about them and wait for your information to come up organically. On a side note, if you ask about them but they never turn the question around to ask about you, that’s a good sign that they aren’t particularly interested. Even if they are interested, that’s a relationship red flag. The goal is to start a conversation, not ask a one-sided or super general question such as, “what’s up?” This may still leave you hanging. While “How are you?” or “How’s your weekend?” are indeed both questions, these don’t actually start a substantial conversation. Within a couple of messages, the conversation may peter out. More specific questions are the gas that keeps a convo going, so think of something more interesting or specific to ask than a “what’s up?” 3. Don’t Compromise The Convo With Physical Comments & Compliments. Data shows that avoiding physical compliments will benefit you in the end. While this advice holds true for both sexes, it is mostly directed at men, considering they are more likely to mention looks in the first contact. In fact, 31% of men compliment women’s appearances. Of those, 51% sent a general message like “you’re hot” and only 22% of them sent something specific like complimenting their eyes or their smile. It might sound strange, but no one wants to hear these physical compliments from someone that they don’t know. Data shows words like “sexy,” “beautiful,” “hot,” and “cutie,” do not receive many responses. It can come across as creepy. Also, if the person that you are messaging is looking for a long-term relationship, a message about their looks may send the signal that you’re just looking for something casual and physical. Because you may not be sure what this person is looking for in a partner, it’s better to save these kinds of compliments until you’ve established some sort of foundation for the relationship. Although, as we all know, people normally enjoy compliments, they’re not as big on pick-up lines. This especially holds true in situations when you have not met in person. Pick-up lines are usually seen as cheesy and impersonal. The same pick-up line could be used on the person after person. If you aren’t taking the time to learn something about the person that you are messaging, they will be able to tell. So, instead of messaging someone that they are “gorgeous,” mention the words “awesome,” “fascinating,” or “cool,” if you want to give a compliment. These words show much higher response rates. Tell them that an attribute on their profile is interesting to you. To go with our earlier example, maybe the recipient has been hiking somewhere cool, like the Rocky Mountains. You could say, “It’s awesome that you’ve hiked in the Rocky Mountains. I’ve always wanted to go there.” This will give them an opportunity to talk about their experience. It will also show them that you’re interested in getting to know who they are as a person instead of just being interested in their appearance. 4. Specifics = Success. If you’re hopelessly messaging and not really looking for a response (which likely isn’t you if you’re reading this post), then go ahead and continue holding vague and general conversations. But if you want to hear back, bring up specifics. Specific interests and precise reference words for those—such as “zombie,” “band,” “tattoo,” “literature,” to name a few popular ones—show to be successful. These keywords are a little bit random and all of them will not work on every person. The main idea behind the success of these keywords is that you’re sharing more information. Instead of just saying “I like to watch TV,” maybe you can say “I love zombie shows.” These kinds of messages are especially helpful if you notice a common interest in the other person’s profile. Maybe they show an interest in a specific band or video game that you like. Bring this up in the first message, but make sure that you’re not just focusing on yourself. For example, you could say, “I saw on your profile that you’re a big fan of The Walking Dead. I love zombie shows! Do you watch Fear of the Walking Dead too?” This establishes common ground and shows the recipient that you want to hear more about them. The bottom line is: Leave the basics behind. Research shows that most “niche” words have a positive effect on messaging. Try talking about particular things that interest you or details that you might have in common with your message receiver. 5.
online dating messaging tips for guys


online dating message tips for men


online dating message tips for guys